Wander Me

 

Just when I think you’re part of this dream or part of this nightmare

You wake me up and pull the sheets off the corner to remind me . . .

That this isn’t over.

 

When I’m with him you wander me.

Whether it be with him or in some transition.

There you are in his face, in the mirror, in the bathtub, even after I leave. . .you wander me.

At night in my sleep you wander me.

In the lake by the deep end you wander me.

The angle of this memory wanders me.

All of eternity. . .you wander me.

Against the wall where you hold me is where you wander me.

The wolf at the end of the path with nowhere to run free, just like him you wander me.

In the summer at night by the garden is where I’ll be and still you wander me.

Under the table or by the piano,

You ask me if he knows but the hell if I know,

You say that you can’t do this, and you say this has to stop,

So, I go to bed because when I plead but you just stand there frozen watching me bleed.

But I still remember the day that you told me I was too young,

That day at the studio, watching you walk to hair and make-up, it’s not fair

Because Time slowed down and I never did wake up.

The day that I met you, reading your script I was in wow or some kind of love or some kind of lust,

You asked my name, I spoke it out, but three weeks later I have you here, in my home, in my house, oh God what do we do now.

Because it’s only a matter of time before you find that I’ve been in love with you my whole life

On the cinema screen or on the tube I watched you never knowing that one day I’d be telling you I love you even though you have your wife

Why can’t you do this, why can’t you leave her

You say I’m stubborn you say I’m wrong

Because I shouldn’t leave him because he’s so young

You say I can have a life with him, but I’d rather be alone

I can’t do it because if I’m with him I’m only a guest but when I’m with you I’m home

I say I hate you; you say you love me; you know I’m lying, there’s no denying,

 I could never leave you you’ll have to leave me I have to have you even though your mine I can’t focus if she’s on the other line

Come to me, home to me, in between eternity and infinity

Home, home to me far from eternity and passed eternity

Come to me, home to me, in between eternity and infinity

Infinity. Eternity. Memory. Remedy. Fantasy. Missing me. Older than me. Magically. Lovingly. Carefully. Dreadfully.

 In everything your everywhere

And for all of eternity

You wander me

A Place I Don’t Know

For the younger generation, they have more anger and hatred than any others out there from my point of view. In the most recent upset a black man was killed without justifiable cause, to make matters worse is three of his fellow officers stood there and watched. Agreed the black man was a criminal but that did not call for his death in such a horrific way nor did it call for his death at all. No matter how you see this, this happens to whites and blacks, yet no one wants to talk about it. For people like me who run a house, takes care of a grandmother, does home improvement work 30 hours a week, is a full-time writer, etc. there is no time nor energy to discuss this with people who wish to argue instead. I support blue lives, always have and always will. Are all police officers honest and trustworthy? No, sadly. Are all nurses caring and competent? No, sadly. Are all pastors’ true vessels from The Lord? Sadly, no. In December when my monster was in a particular mood for attention and was calling and leaving the weirdest words to me, they insisted that I inform them every time and screen capture the phone calls, so I did. When the officer came over, I showed him the screen capture and he didn’t even look at it unlike all the prior officers. Instead he informed me how he read my file and said, ‘You’re obviously not that worried about him. Change your number and move and this guy is no longer a problem.’ I was shocked and didn’t reply to him. ‘Here’s the screen capture with the time and length of the phone call as I was told to give you so here it is.’ I ended the conversation with simply doing what I was told. When the detective called me the following week he asked if anything new had happened I said yes and I saved the screen captures but didn’t report it. He asked me why and I told him ‘Because your deputy told me that I should change my number and move. Ive left two jobs and moved once already trying to get away from him, how else should I make my stalker comfortable?’ The detective agreed and insisted that I have to live my life the way I want to live it and that I can’t keep running because it will not solve the problem in the bigger picture. ‘Guys like the deputy who said that, makes me embarrassed that he’s on the force. Don’t listen to his advice, please.’ So yes, I too have had not the most pleasant experience with authority. . .but a few bad apples do not make the whole field rotten of this I promise. These men and women every day put their lives in the line of fire to protect us. No one realizes that until they need protecting. In one of my favorite shows, Jack Webb’s Adam 12, ( I have a blog about him coming up) Officer Pete Malloy played by the dreamy Martin Milner is the model police officer and superior. Even someone as perfect as him has his flaws occasionally. In the video attached he uses excessive force he sees its wrong, but he is caught up in a moment of burning anger. He told his sergeant the truth and accepted his penalty for his actions. But even more incredible is when he discovers his friend and fellow officer is crooked, his anger is much purer and if you watch you will see that it is for good reason.

I end this what no one wants to hear yet its true but today no one wants to see nor hear it.

Black Lives Matter

White Lives Matter

Gay Lives Matter

Straight Lives Matter

Blue Lives Matter

All Lives Matter

Below are the links to the YouTube videos.

One cop slips up and all take the fall

We All Make Mistakes