What’s A Neverland Girl?

tumblr_myh1lzcOu41qbn2z7o1_500              The film Saving Mr. Banks was released this week and many Disney freak like me were waiting for it forever. I was waiting for it for other reasons besides loving Disney. I was waiting for another film that I could relate to (one hasn’t been released recently where I could relate to.)

I saw the film Mary Poppins in 1995 while I was in my playroom during a typical Florida summer thunderstorm. Even though my mother was in the next room working I was scared of the storm, a fear I still strangely have at 22. Completely captivated by the film I of course watched it many more times. All I could think about while watching this was about how I never wanted to grow old. From that day on, when I was 4, I would always have a fear of growing old. About a year later while visiting Disney World, which was a 3 hour drive from our house so we were Disney regulars, my mother put the film Peter Pan on before bed. Feeling the same excitement that I did a year previously from watching Mary Poppins I felt that same fear of growing old. I know how strange it must sound that I fear growing old while I was on the Walt Disney World Resort property.

When we arrived back home I told my mother my fear of growing old. I explained to her how it started. It took her about a minute to explain to me that it was not a fear of growing old I was feeling but it was a fear of growing up. She was right. Years later on my 14th birthday my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They were joking because they knew that I wanted to visit Disney but I answered, ‘To never grow up.’ Two years later we moved to a town where our house is less than half a mile from Disney.

So now at 22 I feel old even though I know that Im not and will never be. Yes I drive a car, do laundry, clean the pool, workout, I went to college and have been working ever since . . . so yes I do all of those ‘adult’ things. Secretly though I know that Im not an adult. My soul is old and my heart is still four years old. I never want to grow up. That’s what a Neverland Girl is.


This Makes Me Alive

lg-the-blessed-2The other night I found myself frustrated as I was putting away my clean laundry. I’m always neat and organized for the most part but I couldn’t fit my clothes into my drawer. Just as I was a bout to get annoyed and give up the thought struck me. . .I have so much clothes that I cant fit it into my drawer. (Yes we do make a trips occasionally to the Salvation Army along with goodwill to donate bags of clothes between the three of us.)

I have so much clothes that I cant fit it into my drawer./ Some people only have one outfit if that.

We have food in our fridge and pantry along with cookbooks./ Many can’t afford a stove or a fridge let alone have food.

We have cars to bring us to work and doctor appointments./ Others take the bus.

I’m saving up for proper audio and lighting equipment./ Others are trying to make rent.

My degree sits on my drawer in the way of my TV sometimes./ People are fighting to get into school.

I have to clean the pool this weekend./ Most of my friends have to go to the neighborhood public pool.

My parents always take each others sides in the rare occasion of an argument./ My parents are alive and love me just as much as they love each other because all my friend’s parents are divorced.

I have to wake up early for church./ I live in a country where I’m allowed to go to church. (Hoping it stays that way too.)

These are all just some of the things I pondered about while standing in my room with a handful of clean laundry. My moment of frustration quickly turned into one of my highest moments of gratitude.

Psalm 118:24

This is the day The Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.