The film Saving Mr. Banks was released this week and many Disney freak like me were waiting for it forever. I was waiting for it for other reasons besides loving Disney. I was waiting for another film that I could relate to (one hasn’t been released recently where I could relate to.)
I saw the film Mary Poppins in 1995 while I was in my playroom during a typical Florida summer thunderstorm. Even though my mother was in the next room working I was scared of the storm, a fear I still strangely have at 22. Completely captivated by the film I of course watched it many more times. All I could think about while watching this was about how I never wanted to grow old. From that day on, when I was 4, I would always have a fear of growing old. About a year later while visiting Disney World, which was a 3 hour drive from our house so we were Disney regulars, my mother put the film Peter Pan on before bed. Feeling the same excitement that I did a year previously from watching Mary Poppins I felt that same fear of growing old. I know how strange it must sound that I fear growing old while I was on the Walt Disney World Resort property.
When we arrived back home I told my mother my fear of growing old. I explained to her how it started. It took her about a minute to explain to me that it was not a fear of growing old I was feeling but it was a fear of growing up. She was right. Years later on my 14th birthday my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They were joking because they knew that I wanted to visit Disney but I answered, ‘To never grow up.’ Two years later we moved to a town where our house is less than half a mile from Disney.
So now at 22 I feel old even though I know that Im not and will never be. Yes I drive a car, do laundry, clean the pool, workout, I went to college and have been working ever since . . . so yes I do all of those ‘adult’ things. Secretly though I know that Im not an adult. My soul is old and my heart is still four years old. I never want to grow up. That’s what a Neverland Girl is.